Harry Potter and the PomPom of Doom
by WriteAway
Summary: NEW CHAPTER! THE POMPOMS MAKE AN APPEARANCE! W00T!
1. Default Chapter

Harry Potter and the Followers of Dumbledore

Chapters 1-7

Chapter 1

Harry Potter was at Ron's house living out the summer in joy. That was until ChoChang was eaten by a vampire. Harry mourned her death for about five minutes, then decided to play Quidditch with the Weasleys. As they played, Ron and Harry talked.

"Must be painful." said Ron

"What?" asked Harry

"I mean dying by vampire."

"Yeah"

"Well not as painful as you'll be in a second."

In exactly one second, a bludger hit Harry, and he was knocked out. Ginny tried putting ice on him, but the ice melted so she was just sort of scooping up water and dumping it on him. Harry only woke up in time to get onto the Hogwarts Express. At the train station he happily ran into the magic pole. Except he accidentally ran into the wrong pole and was rewarded with the stares of onlookers.

Chapter 2

On the train Harry sat with Hermione and Ron. He used a lot of wizard money to buy candy, so the 3 of them were feasting away and comparing wizard cards.

"Look," said Ron "I've got Dumbledore the Special Edition"

"What does it say?" asked Hermione

"Headmaster of Hogwarts and blah blah blah." replied Ron

"Blah blah blah? asked Harry

"Yeah…" said Ron

"That's weird"

"Yup"

Suddenly Neville runs into their train compartment, scoops up their candy, and runs away.

"What was that all about?" Harry yelled after Neville

"You could've asked!" shouted Ron

"I did…" said Harry

"I meant Neville," said Ron

Then, Malfoy ran in, scooped up candy, and ran away.

"What is it with these people?" asked Harry

Hermione walks over to him and magics away the "Take my candy" writing on his forehead.

"Oh," said Harry, "I forgot I wrote that there."

Chapter 3

When it was time to change into the uniforms, Harry realized that his was missing, so he wore Nevilles. Later Neville had to buy another one. As they got off the train Hermione told Ron quietly:

"Your socks are not matching"

At that Harry completely freaks out, and gets very angry.

"Nobody ever tells me anything," shrieked Harry, "Why do people always treat me like a child!"

His friends sighed and let him in on the secret, and Harry once more became the care free child we know him as.

Chapter 4

They went inside Hogwarts.

Chapter 6

Chapter 5 left to go on vacation in Hawaii. It sends its best wishes.

Chapter 7

The students all quieted as Dumbledore rose to speak his yearly speech in the dining hall.

"It is going to be a wonderful year," began Dumbledore

"We're getting hungry!" came a voice from the crowd

"We will now listen to ourselves sing the Hogwarts Themem Song" continued Dumbledore, and flinched as the hungry student sent a dung bomb his way.

Later on the sorting hat began to sing.

" _I'm an old ratty hat,_

_And as batty as a bat._

_My job is to sort,_

_And at it I do snort._

_Am I really the only one that can see,_

_Where each child aught to be?_

_Gryfindor the brave,_

_Dumb adventures they do crave._

_Hufflepuff the puffy,_

_They like to wear ear muffies._

_Ravenclaw the smart,_

_Or so says the old fart (Dumbledore)._

_Slytherins are oh so sly,_

_Why they smell I don't know why."_

Someone applauded in an attempt to be polite, but for the most part you just heard the roar of hungry mobs of children.

"Dig in" sighed Dumbledore

Those two words won the largest applause, and everyone dug in.


	2. Chapters 89 Chapter 2

Harry Potter and the Followers of Dumbledore

Chapters 8-9

Chapter 8

Dedication: To the first person to review my story, Kittycatgomeow.

The next day in potion's class, Harry was in trouble. Again!

" Harry, I said add the hair of a rodent." smirked Snape

"I added ferret hair." said a confused Harry

"A ferret is not a rodent, stupid!" said Snape

"Really?"

"Yes!"

"Really?"

"Yes!"

"Really?"

"Yes!"

"Really?"

"Five points from Gryfindor."

Harry was about to say "Really?", but Hermione covered his mouth.

"Now Harry," continued Snape "be more like Malfoy."

"I put in the hair of an elephant!" said Malfoy smugly

"An elephant isn't a rodent, Professor," said Hermione

"I wasn't speaking to you" said Snape

"Really?" asked Ron

"NO!" said Snape "I-I-I- mean YES!. CLASS DISMISSED!"

"Really?" asked Neville

Chapter 9

Dedication: To my friends who read my stories and try to laugh.

Harry, Ron, and Hermione were walking in a hallway happily. That was until Harry walked into a pole and banged his head. He really has a thing for poles, doesn't he?

"My scar throbs! Shouted Harry, "Voldemort must be here!"

Hermione and Ron instantly dropped to the ground and started to roll, hoping they could rid themselves of the name's horror. Harry, in the meantime was fervently scouting the hall for signs of the Dark Lord. Then Neville tapped Harry on the shoulder.

"Harry-" started Neville

"Trurkeydooble!" shouted Harry, mistaking Neville for Voldemort. He muttered an apology, while Neville became a toad, and hopped away with Trevor in the direction of Madame Pomfrey.

"Really Harry," exclaimed Hermione (who was done rolling), "You must gain control of yourself before you really hurt someone."

"I know…" muttered Harry "I'll never do it again."

Just then Ron tapped Harry on the shoulder. Before he could respond, Harry had flipped him over the stair railing, while shouting things about having vanquished the enemy. Then he muttered something like "oops" while Hermione beat him with her book bag.


	3. Chapter 3

Harry Potter and the Followers of Dumbledore

Chapters 10-11

Chapter 10

Ron's parents had decided to visit Ron, who was under intense care in the hospital wing. Ron, who was intelligent for a moment decided to use this event as an excuse to get Malfoy in trouble. Ron was in a full body cast, and when asked what happened he said "Malfoy". This proved to be not such a good idea since Malfoy was proved innocent under a truth potion. Oh yeah, back to the story. Ron's parents were on their way to the hospital wing until they got caught up in something else.

"Sweet Heart," said Mr. Weasley "You just have to see this absolutely wonderful muggle invention! Look, its called a door. It opens and closes!"

"That's very nice dear" said Mrs. Weasley who was impatiently tapping her foot.

"No really!" exclaimed Mr. Weasley "Show her Filch"

Filch opened and closed the door

"Isn't that just dandy!" asked Mr. Weasley "All you have to do is twist the knob and pull or push. Honey would you like a turn? Filch can she open and close the door? PLEEEZ?"

"Uh, sure," said Filch who was glad to be getting free time off his job

"I don't really need to try the door" said Mrs. Weasley

"Oh but come on!" yelled Mr. Weasley "This is an extremely unique muggle invention!"

"But Honey we really need to see Ron" urged Mrs. Weasley "Plus, I'm sure it will be there when we get back. You can play with it then."

"Really!"

"Yes"

Mr. Weasley whooped in joy, grabbed his wife's hand and ran down the hall towards where Ron resided.

Chapter 11

"Sweety I feel so sorry, but we have to get going" cooed Mrs. Weasley as she hugged Ron good bye after a nice long visit

"Yeah," added Mr. Weasley "We have actual lives which we need to live"

"Can't you take me with you?" whined Ron underneath his mouth cast

"No, I'm sorry" said his mother "We are going to Italy on vacation!"

"Can't you take me with you?" asked Ron eagerly while trying to scratch his itchy nose which he couldn't reach because of his nose cast

"Nope!" said his dad cheerfully "Because we actually want to have fun! I'll bring you back some spaghetti though."

"You stink!" said Ron who was trying to pout but couldn't because of his face cast

Mr. Weasley checked his arm pits.


	4. Chapter Cuatro

Note: Anybody who reads this should check out my other story! J (Its called Lord of the Remix)

Chapter 12

It was charms class, and the students were learning the _Gloahgoaiho;arehb;o_ spell. The objective was to aim the pillow at the target taped to the wall, and fire away. Hermione neatly fired hers multiple times into the target while grinning insanely at her success. Neville had aimed his incorrectly and it had fired at Professor Flitwick. The teacher was running at full speed to avoid the pillow's contact.

"Look at me, I did it four times." said Hermione

Nobody answered, so she looked behind her. Ron and Harry were smacking each other rapidly over the head with their pillows.

"This fun!" said Ron as Harry whacked his hair off

"Yeah!" yelled Harry enthusiastically as his glasses were broken.

Ron, in a fit of lunacy, attacked Harry's broken glasses with his pillow. When it had been reduced to powder, he continued pillowing Harry.

"Stop it boys." yelled Flitwick as he ran by with Neville's pillow after him.

"I'll save you Professor." exclaimed Neville excitedly twirling his wand

"NOOOOOOOOO!" yelled the Professor but it was too late. Every pillow in the room turned into a stool.

Hermione shrugged and smashed her stool repeatedly into the wall.

Ron and Harry paused to look at their stools, shrugged, and continued to whack each other.

"This is even better!" yelled Harry, waving his stool around blindly while hoping to hit Ron.

"No it isn't!" yelled Flitwick as he ran by again (being chased by Neville's stool)

"It totally is!" said Ron as he broke Harry's nose

"ORDER!" yelled McGonagall as she stepped into the room and was almost knocked over by the now terrified Flitwick. With a noble wave of her wand the stool stopped chasing him. Flitwick collapsed at her feet, exhausted.

Ron continued whacking Harry with his stool because he couldn't hear McGonagall (his ears were in cast too), and continued the process of giving Harry a concussion.

"HEHEHEHEEEEEEE!" giggled Harry who didn't see McGonagall standing there. He assumed it was Flitwick who yelled and therefore had no intention of stopping (He had no glasses and couldn't see).

Suddenly, with an almighty crack Harry dealt the finishing blow to his friend. Ron yelped as his body cast cracked from a blow to the head.

"That is quite enough Harold Potter." snapped la profesora, and caught the stool before Harry could bring it down another time.

Ron cackled hysterically, and dealt a blow to Harry's feet. Harry cam crashing to the ground. Harry tugged on Ron's stool saying:

"I wanna go."

"My stool." said Ron poutily

"They're gone." said Hermione to Professor McGonagall, who nodded.

Hermione dragged the boys to the hospital wing.


	5. Of Ron and Madame Pomfrey

Harry and Ron lay in the hospital wing as they healed. Madame Pomfrey came by and poured out their medicine. She gave Harry one spoonful of sugar with his potion, and Ron three. (She had become very well acquainted with Ron due to his recent stay in her care)

"I wonder who her favourite is?" asked Harry once she had left

"Can I help the fact that I am so much more popular then you?" asked Ron as he took a tentative sip of the beverage.

"Oooooh!" screeched Harry "Ron and Madame Pomfrey sitting in a tree."

"Don't you dare!" shouted Ron

"K-I-S-I-N-G!" hollered Harry on the top of his lungs

Ron grabbed his bedside table's lamp as Harry grabbed his. Before anyone could say "losers", they were fencing at top speed.

"Take that back!" yelled Ron,

"K!" yelled Harry

"I said take it back!"

"I!"

"You're dead Potter!"

"S!"

"I mean seriously not alive!"

"I!"

"STOP!"

"N!"

NOOOOO!

"G!"

Ron brought his lamp down on Harry's head with a crash. Professor McGonagall chose that moment to stride through the door.

"RON!" she said, appalled, "How could you to such a thing to Harold?"

"My names not Harold…" Harry said woozily

"And, you spell kissing k-i-s-s-i-n-g." said Hermione as she too walked in. Then, after a moments thought, she sobbed "It's true!"

"No, its not. I swear!" said Ron frantically as Hermione burst into tears.

"Yes it is!" sniffed Hermione. Then, with a roar of rage she snatched the lamp from Harry's hands, and smashed it over Ron's head.

"That is quite enough Granger!" snapped McGonagall, "Detention! For all three of you!"

Harry giggled hysterically; still dazed from the blow to his head.

"Compose yourself Harvey!" said McGonagall furiously

"Harry…" said Harry as he fell into an unconscious state.

"Professor?" asked Hermione carefully

"Yes?"

"Will he be okay?" she said, pointing at the unconscious boys.

"Ron, or Harlinton?" asked the professor

"Harry."

"He'll be fine. I'm not sure about Ron though, he was never 'fine' in the first place. Tell them to report to my office once they wake up. You can come with me now, Granger."

Once they had left, Madame Pomfrey entered the room.

"I could have sworn that I heard voices…" said the witch to herself

Then, she shrugged and went down to the Great Hall.


	6. The Legend of the Pompoms

-1A/N: Thanks for being so patient for the next update, guys! BTW, if you want to check out some of my more serious writing make a bee line to "King of the Convicts". It's a more serious Harry Potter fanfic about our dear hero living in Azkaban, and slowly building a huge army.

♥Chapter 14 ♥

The Tiringly Troublesome but Terrific Trio sat in History. Hermione's hair was at it's normal healthy bushy state. Ron looked fine except for one remaining cast on his left. Harry was still bruised from a particularly violent stool whack, and appeared abnormally hyperactive. Then, of course, Harry was usually abnormally hyperactive. Except for History class.

"Hello students!" exclaimed Binns (or what could have been mistaken for an exclamation, even though it sounded so monotonous the inexperienced person could not have heard it.)

Harry and Ron's heads immediately fell to their desks. Harry let out a satisfied snore as Ron added another layer of drool to his already ruined text book.

"I'm disappointed in you boys." said the ghost, shaking his head "I haven't even started today's lecture."

Of course, neither boys actually heard their professor. They were asleep. Hermione sighed emphatically and poked Ron with her quill.

"Ow!" yelped the red head "You poked me!"

Ron rubbed the little pinprick sized wound, and almost fainted at the little pinprick sized dot of blood that came off on his finger.

"'Mione! Look what you did! Now I'm gonna have to go to Madame Pomfrey!"

Hermione's eyes instantly filled with tears.

"Oh yes, DEAR MADAME POMFREY! I hope you two have fun kissing."

"That is quite enough students!" snapped Binns (or what could have been mistaken for a snap, even though it sounded so monotonous the inexperienced person could not have heard it.) "I will not have you screaming about your absolutely messed up love lives on the top of your voices in my class." turning to Harry, he asked "Is he okay?"

Dear Harrykins, of course, was still sprawled on his desk.

"Noo…" He mumbled in his sleep "My bacon. Gimmee…" he made wimpy snatching motions at the empty air space in front of him. "Not the donut! Mine!"

Hermione habitually poked him with the tip of her quill. Harry immediately woke up, and sat up straight in his chair.

"I could have sworn I was asleep…" he mumbled to himself

"Oh!" yelled Ron "So you poke Harry with your quill too, do you? Tell me. Do you also-"

"ENOUGH!" shouted Binns

At the sound of his teacher's voice, Harry instantly fell back to sleep.

"Today, I want to teach you about the stone room." began Binns

"A legend!" squealed Neville "The stone room of doom."

Harry woke up. A legend was worth staying up for.

"Yes, of course." continued the ghost "The stone room of doom. The walls of the room are carved so they look as plush as a layer of fluffy pillows tiling all of the space. Many a witch/wizard has killed his/herself by running into these walls, expecting impact from plush. Instead, they were met with the hard embrace of solid rock."

Neville shivered. He began to turn white in fear. Then he turned purple because he forgot to breath. Dean slapped him on the back, and Neville gasped in a huge breath of air. When they turned back to the class, Binns had already continued the legend.

"Now the room is lined with a set of 24 stone pedestals. On each pedestal rests a magically charged porcelain phoenix. Their combined power allows them to hold back a foe so fierce that if launched on the wizarding world, may result in the death of many muggles."

"Don't you mean wizards?" asked Neville, for once saying something that made sense.

"No, of course not!" said the professor enthusiastically, "Us wizards would be feeding the muggles to the creatures to keep them fed. Like we would let them eat us. Per say if the monsters prove to hostile to be fed, they would demolish the world as we know it. That is, of course, if a stupid hero miraculously manages to save us."

"W-w-what c-creature lies within the room?" asked Parvati, obviously shaken by the tale

"The… No. I can't say it. It's too terrible."

"Come on professor. If you don't, I'll have my dad sue you!" Malfoy put in

That got Binns going.

"The…" he toned his voice down to a whisper "Pompoms of doom."

Neville screamed on the top of his lungs, and began to flap his arms madly. He was quickly put into a neck lock by Crabbe. Yes, I mean a neck lock. Neville began to turn purple from lack of oxygen.

"But luckily we have the porcelain phoenixes slaving day in and day out to keep us safe." said Binns happily, "Good thing they don't get breaks or holidays or a pay check."

"Uh oh" said Harry and Ron simultaneously as they saw the look on Hermione's face.

Hermione already had her planner out, and was scheduling her afternoon schedule. For that day, an entry read:

"Protest against porcelain phoenix's unfair work conditions."


End file.
